Anya and I were supposed to meet at Gaylord’s coffee on Piedmont ave, but to make a long story short that location didn't happen. I ended up sitting in a quiet corner of a Chinese restaurant with pink table cloths and sipping tea waiting for her with an extra cup.
“The concept of Petheaven is more of a ritual ”. They are these sort of spells we cast out to survive in this world.” describes Anya, founding member of Petheaven. In May of 2013, she started out as a solo act doing guitar and vocals, doing one-off shows and doing bedroom recordings. Just a few years later she invited her musician friends Izzy and Rory from Spit Tips to create a three-piece formation, at least until they both relocated to Portland. For the next few months the project returned to it’s original solo state until Dec of 2016 when ungraspable events occurred in Anya’s life as well as friend and drummer Zoe Stiller. Losing both of their partners in the Ghostship fire, they banded together in music to help them cope, heal and tell a story.
Their live shows makes you feel like you are being taken into an esoteric catacomb of the human spirit, where they fill the dark stone walls with resonating guitars tinged with “sweet 90’s PJ Harvey grunge rock dreams” (maybe even a little reminiscent of early Hole), jazz ruled drums, and haunting lyrics that touch you to your innermost fiber. You may be surprised how moved you feel by this self-described “singer-songwriter” tour-de-force. Petheaven provides "gaps and moments to take a look and see into yourself” and that’s all they want from this project….
“I mean I guess we COULD do the interview here, but doesn’t that feel like a scene out of some 1970’s documentary interviewing Richard Hell about NYC punk?!” I stated while we were cracking up sitting at the table drinking our lukewarm Oolong tea and waiting for the check. Our punk rock fantasies faded as they were about to close. So we headed to the sanctity and privacy of my living room kitchen across the lake, where it was just us, the fishes and their water filter bubbling in the background.
“Which color candle do you want to light?” I asked her while lighting some moon incense.
“Let’s light this one, it's Cash’s favorite color” she said as she picked up the dark blue tapered candle. Sitting by the open window to the backyard I found myself honored to have her peaceful, mindful presence in my company, to be invited to hear about her musical “diary” and the depth of her tribulations on creating and “being” in this world.
So I heard you are coming out with new stuff. I’m really excited to hear more material from you. Tell me about what you’ve got coming out!
Basically the new stuff will be kind of the culmination of what Zoe and I have been doing together as Petheaven. Our new stuff is cool, not only is it a studio recording (Skot B) that we are really proud of but its what each of us brought to this project- rather than it just being my solo project.
I really love the way you both sound together. You wouldn't expect something to sound so rich and full just using guitar and drums.
We use a lot of pedals on my guitar to create the soundscapes and also a little bit of magic. I know we are kind of haunted in a way so I think it makes our sound a little bigger.
Yes, I remember you actually saying that in between songs at Oakland Secret in February of this year, that you are kind of “haunted” in a way. That was a magical set. I think you played four songs… I totally cried. I was moved in a whole new way. That doesn't really happen to me at live shows, even if it is a truly sad song or something like that. You hit me in the deepest realm that no one really gets too often.
I’m glad that you can access that part of yourself. People come up to me a lot and say that “I cried and I wasn’t expecting to”. I’m glad. Maybe you were seeing a different world or a different emotional realm. That is why that band exists now. At first it was a place to put all of my stories, all the ghost stories in my mind; all of the anger and all of the trauma that I have experienced. For Zoe and I, this is our outlet ever since what happened in December (Ghosthship tragedy). It’s like channeling a frequency of pain and of power. Casting your own protection spells and being honest with your own emotions. The different layers of instrumentation can work to present itself in a way that lets you access that point if that makes sense. It makes me want to cry when I hear that other people cry (listening to our stuff). All I can hope is that someone can access our stories.
You mentioned gathering this “power”. That’s exactly what I was thinking about you today as I was listening to your older material. There is this raw power and strength in this beautiful sadness that kept coming up for me. That’s a really potent combination. Your vocal range and intonations sometimes remind me of a Diamanda Galas.It’s wild, deep sad, powerful, angelic. How is this all happening at once?
I don’t think it is mutually exclusive. I don’t think it is different things. I just think it’s total expression. I appreciate that comparison. Cash always said (my voice) had a Kate Bush/Diamanda sound. I was thinking “Wow, that’s a pretty big comparison”. I've never felt "here". I think my voice is some dead lady that lives inside of me that tells stories. I Use the voice as an instrument. Im a guitar nerd. we have a lot of jazz elements it too. It’s like a cloud, rather than a genre
Going back to that show I saw earlier this year (Oakland Secret feb. 2017) Oh god…. Being so soon after December, I thought some of those songs were directly related to you and Zoe both losing your partners ( Cash Askew and Feral Pines). Some of those songs felt like they were created out of this huge unimaginable loss. Then I found out these songs were written previously, in 2013.
Yes! Previous. Yes I think a lot of that has been solidified in losing her. Cash was (and this went for either one of us) she was right in front, the first person there at the show. She gave me the love and strength to perform. that was preventing me from going up there and doing it. I was in a very dark head space, in a very dark body space and she was my light. She was so proud of me. I am so proud of her. all the love and music we hold together. I just just hope I keep making her proud.
Yes…..I remember that…… You were saying you were coming from a dark space in your early Petheaven days. In a sense your early stuff was based in a much more solitary view. How does it compare now? What’s the view like? Is it more focused on your relationship with Cash now?
It’s not all Cash. But she will be a part of it forever. She will be in every band I’m in. She will be forever tweaking my pedal boards. She will always be doing my sound. Because that’s what she did. She was everything to me. Music, for each of us, was our most important thing. As musicians (music) is one of the only ways we communicate and one of the ways we have found solace. The only other way to find a sort of therapy is to find your other half. Then to have them taken from you is totally uncharted territory. I can't even really explain it.
Right, like “Fear of Dark Water” sounds like it could be written about your experience losing your other half, yet it stems from a different experience. That was one of the songs I heard at that O.S show that I thought was directly related to the fire.
My previous songs were more like ghost stories. That song “Fear of Dark Water” was written one night I woke up in the middle of the night. It was like a gash into my psyche. It is definitely a ghost story. This song is about someone who opens up a photo album and sees her great grandmother.she sees her face in her face. she knows her story. she never met her great grandmother, but she knows she took her own life a long time ago, and her family looked at it as shameful. She was deeply abused. She ends up being put in an asylum because she won’t keep quiet about what has been done. So, there, in the garden she takes her life because she couldn’t choose how she lived, she could only choose how she died. Oddly enough, the lyrics (to “Fear of Dark Water”) kind of correspond to what my life is at this point: “ I will choose how I die”........ It’s subconscious. Petheaven is like the ephemera of the mind…how are you going to deal with the shit and come out strong in the end…
That’s exactly how I feel when I listen to your material.
I'm so glad. (The) “I will choose how I die” (is something that I) hope is true for all of us, figuratively.
Those lyrics really hit me hard at that live show.
We all have strength, and for me, sometimes that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I was blessed to have the most amazing person in my life. cash is heavenly. I just wish she could hear it.
She’s always at your shows…….( candle warmly glowing)
(teary laughter) She’s always at my shows! I would hope she would be there! ...... I miss my loves, I miss my heart. So the music is the only way to fill the void……. We are a two-piece but we might be a four-piece. We might have some beautiful ghosts in the band.
What are some of your favorite tunes to listen to?
One of my favorite is Charles Mingus “Myself when I am real”. It’s a piano piece. If you are ever alone, light a candle, listen to it. That song is how I feel. It dances and it cries and it speaks to spirits in the room. Another recommendation for the readers is Gloria Ann Taylor “What’s Your world?” It’s some haunted crackling soul. Those were my friends when I was young. Jazz is where my heart is. and of course stuff like Klaus Nomi, Kate Bush, Diamanda Galas. There’s so many.
Where did the name Petheaven come from? By the way, I love the font! It kind of reminds me of The Dick Van Dyke show font!
( All of a sudden we thought we got a blast of some old school heavy duty cologne through the open window. It was truly overwhelming and distractingly funny)
Damn, is that cologne? Somebody's got some Old Spice up in here!! DRAKKAR NOIR!
That is some Old Ass Spice!!!! Someone is going on a hot date!
(Room mate comes into living room to admit it was his incense and apologizes sheepishly)
So, yes the name…I was once at this pet hospital and on the ceiling was this panel of a sky with all this pets looking down on you. It was really depressing and I got obsessed with this idea of a pet heaven. I’ve always had this intense connection to dogs. I just like the name, I think it’s endearing. Plus i’ve always felt like more of a pet than a human anyway. Petheaven is one word for us! People always think it’s two!
So in your future albums what format do you think you'll release it on? Another cassette? vinyl?
I think vinyl! Plus I’ve got some original Petheaven art by Cash. So yeah, we gotta do it.
We will release an EP. 2-3 songs. “Spellbreaker”, “My house” and “Fortune” will be on there- so stay tuned!
You think you'll keep it a two-piece between you and Zoe?
Yeah! I think its working! We could sample bass some day if we wanted… Zoe is such an incredible talent and I am thankful every day that we met and that we can do this project together doing shows and showing people our heart. at the end of the day we can be Petheaven together. We can’t be molded or changed sonically.
Make sure to find yourself at the next Petheaven show!
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